One Day (UPDATE)

Lmfao I found this blog from almost 4 fucking years ago. Its actually really embarrassing. I'm actually a feminist now and I've seen the light about how much of a dick Ray William Johnson is so that's a relief. I remember when I liked his song 'Friendzoned'. Ya Allah! I no longer wear hijab full-time. Really only when I'm at the masjid. I feel like I'm slipping away from Islam because I've realized that I'm queer. Yet I've found tons of resources for gay Muslims online so there's that. I just feel the need to please everyone and I fucking hate that. I wish I could get away from the judgement. Away from the Western view that all Muslims are this way or that or are praising me for getting away from the terrorist, patriarchal Islamists and. Away from Muslim (mostly Muslim men that I'm talking about tbh) who upload patriarchal values and try to tear me down. It's just really painful. Oh yeah Im 21 now. You would think that I would be wiser and stronger and in a way I am because so much has changed and I've been through so fucking much. But I'm still the same. Fat. Depressed. Struggling. I wonder when I can just be fat, happy, and financial/mentalling stable. One day....